When you’re neurodivergent, finding love may come with some challenges. In a relationship, disclosure and honesty are essential to ensure smooth sailing. This may include telling your partner about being neurodivergent–but when should you tell them?
Keep reading to learn more about being neurodivergent in relationships.
What Does It Mean to be Neurodivergent?
“Neurodivergent” is a non-medical term that describes people whose brain works differently than others. Some of these differences can include learning disabilities, medical conditions, or mental conditions. Rather than focusing on how one’s brain may cause “weaknesses,” the term “neurodivergent” focuses on strengths that these differences afford.
As Cleveland Clinic describes, the word “neurodivergent” is a way to describe people using words other than “normal” and “abnormal.” There is no “normal” way of describing people and how their brains work, as every person thinks differently. Similarly, being neurodivergent emphasizes the specific strengths one person’s brain might bring that another person may not have, or differ from.
When Should You Tell Your Partner?
With these differences in mind, it may seem intimidating to disclose being neurodivergent to a new partner. It takes a lot of strength and courage to open up to someone, but being vulnerable enough to share with someone shows trust. That being said, when would be a good time to tell your partner?
Long story short–it differs from person to person. All relationships are different, and all people are different. However, there are a few factors to consider that can guide you to when you should tell a partner about being neurodivergent.
First, consider your own readiness. Though you may have concern for your partner, this is solely your decision to make. Readying yourself to talk about being neurodivergent with a partner may look different from person to person, but being self-assured about your decision can give you the confidence to be candid about your experiences.
Another factor to think about is how long you have been seeing someone. Some people may find it easier to disclose this information earlier, while others may find it more comfortable to get to know a person more before telling them. Whether you have known someone for a short period or longer, honesty can strengthen bonds and help you better understand each other.
Telling Your Partner: What’s Next?
Coming to a decision about telling your partner is a big step. If you feel ready, the next step is to think about how to talk to your partner about this. The most effective way to talk about something more serious is to speak in person, as there is less chance for you or your partner to misinterpret language, tone, or emotion.
Though meeting in person may be the most effective option, it can still be challenging to muster up the courage to talk to your partner that way. Communicating this information through text or a phone call can be just as effective, but remember to let your partner know that you would like to discuss something important beforehand. Prefacing this conversation with your partner will give it the attention and importance it needs. As PsychCentral, a mental health information, and news site, suggests, both you and your partner’s mental and emotional state is essential to meaningful conversations. Having this conversation with your partner in the right headspace can make you and your partner feel more comfortable.
Conclusion
Being neurodivergent is an aspect of your identity that affects how you experience life. When you’re in a relationship, wanting your partner to know about this part of you can be challenging to approach. Though it can seem intimidating, being candid about your experiences can bring you and your partner closer together.
For more information on how to support someone that is neurodivergent, read more at Ferry Godmother.